So yeah, I'm blogging. :P
Earlier today I was thinking.. =/ I just have this feeling that my dad doesn't love me as much as he loves my sister. Whenever she walks into a room he always says, "Hi beautiful!" Later when I walk past him he practically insults me and calls me fat. And every time my dad isn't nice to my sister she goes to me a says, "I think Papa's mad at me." I'd say, "Why?" And every time she'd say, "You know how he's always nice to me and says hi when I come home? He's not doing it anymore." And when she says that to me I just think, at least he compliments you, at least he says hi to you when you get home, at least he always worries about you when you come home late. I know it makes me look really jealous, but I just get this vibe from him, like he's disgusted by my presence.
And with my mom? The more she smokes, the more I lose my respect, the more I talk back, the more I hate her. I know she hates what I've become. And I'm pretty sure she's disappointed in me. Today she sounded so mad at me, at first I was kinda mad about it. Now, I'm just kicking myself about it. I just idk, I'm scared I'm losing the really strong bond I thought I had with them when I was younger..
My eyes are really ugh right now, g'night.
* Currently hearing
Good Eats on Food Network.
Earlier today I was thinking.. =/ I just have this feeling that my dad doesn't love me as much as he loves my sister. Whenever she walks into a room he always says, "Hi beautiful!" Later when I walk past him he practically insults me and calls me fat. And every time my dad isn't nice to my sister she goes to me a says, "I think Papa's mad at me." I'd say, "Why?" And every time she'd say, "You know how he's always nice to me and says hi when I come home? He's not doing it anymore." And when she says that to me I just think, at least he compliments you, at least he says hi to you when you get home, at least he always worries about you when you come home late. I know it makes me look really jealous, but I just get this vibe from him, like he's disgusted by my presence.
And with my mom? The more she smokes, the more I lose my respect, the more I talk back, the more I hate her. I know she hates what I've become. And I'm pretty sure she's disappointed in me. Today she sounded so mad at me, at first I was kinda mad about it. Now, I'm just kicking myself about it. I just idk, I'm scared I'm losing the really strong bond I thought I had with them when I was younger..
My eyes are really ugh right now, g'night.
* Currently hearing
Good Eats on Food Network.
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