I'm losing a friend. At least, I thought she was my friend. But I really don't like who she became. I wish you were the same girl, who I can have fun with. But that's horse shit. Until you notice what you've been doing to everyone, I don't think I want to talk to you anymore. Forreal.
My brother's being an ass to my parents, no surprise. But hearing everything my parents talk about at night kills me. They're so hurt by all three of us. They don't think we respect them, or anything. And honestly, I don't, but then I do. It's so complicated. Every time I talk about family, I burst into tears and my throat closes up. Literally. Idunno, I try to be the "baby" they're used to, but I'm growing up. And I can't stay their little baby forever. They can't protect me from the world anymore. I've been hurt by a guy, I've been through high school drama, I've helped friends while they're mourning, I've done a lot but they don't really notice.
I blog because I want to let things out. I don't really have that many people I open up to. There's like three guys I can talk to without it being awkward. And a couple girls. The thing is that, I've mentioned this before, but hey have their own problems they need to deal with. So I don't wanna hassle them with mine. I don't want sympathy or empathy. I just want to be heard, that's it.
My parents when to Reno again, they're "utopia". =/ I want one.
My computer crashed a couple days ago. I lost everything, pictures, documents, projects. Everything. I'm trying to get as much back, so if you have any pictures with me, feel free to send 'em.
Swine flu, swine flu, swine flu. That's all you hear now-a-days. =/ I'm sick, I know that. My dad thinks I have a stomach ulcer, my mom thinks I'm on the verge of getting swine flu, and me? I think I'm just tired. I really need this Thanksgiving break.
I miss Lea Dandan, I miss our talks on the phone. But honestly, every time I wanna talk to her about something serious.. She tries to turn it into a "happy moment". And she can't expect me to open up when she hasn't been opening up to me since like forever. =/ I feel like I'm losing her.
Omg, I can't breathe.
In the process of losing and fading, I've gain a few friends that I trust. I love them. GWG? ;) Plus Sampang and Hilarious minus the 'us'.
My physical and emotional state is breaking, slowly. Swear, by the end of sophomore year, I won't be fun to be around anymore. I'm pushing myself to smile and be something I'm not. I'm tired, and I just want to be left alone I wanna stay home everyday. But I can't cos missing one day of school kills your grade, at least it does for me. I miss so much. I'm lagging hecka bad. I haven't done homework seriously in three weeks. I'm dying here, save me.
There was a fight today. Pacquiao won, duh.
Leslie got a varsity A, on Wednesday. YES. Leslie has no social life, no love life, nothing. That sounds so depressing. Can't help it though. My heart's breaking.
* Currently listening to
Replay - Iyaz
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